Comments on: Being a gay man in a woman’s body

By: Cass

Cass — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 12:43:09 +0000

I’ve been searching so long for someone who feels the way I do about my gender identity.

I used to just conform, and for my entire life as yet i have identified as cisfemale. Recently though, I’m begining to question who I am.

As it turns out, my sexual attraction to people is actually really weird and confusing. I feel attracted to men about 90% of the time, but when it comes to sexual experience and sexual attraction (in a purely physical mattter) i seem to see both me and my partner as male…
I write Slash Fiction (only male x male pairings) and i find i cannot associate with heterosexual fiction, due to female involvement.
I mean I’ m still so young, I have so much time to think about it, but I have such big dreams for my life and i get nightmares that if i ever came out as something strange or ‘abnormal’ then these dreams would be ruined…

Anyway, rant over..
Cass
x

By: Landon

Landon — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 17:24:48 +0000

thank you for writing this. I am in my 40s and completely at a loss of what to do about this. Have been this way all my life.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:07:20 +0000

Hi,
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for putting your words down on this website for all to see. I have recently been struggling a lot with my gender identity and I think people are so quick to put other people into categories, so quick to diagnose others and tell them to change their sex or that there is someone wrong with us for feeling this way..
I too feel like a gay man in a woman’s body. I think I will probably always feel like this.
I love your last line “What matters is that we can love and be loved as ourselves”
thank you for your words of wisdom
Jackie

By: donna

donna — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:12:33 +0000

totally right dear one.
I went through 10 years of domestic prostitution as an asexual person (that is pretty tough). It was only after 2000mg of Glutamine a day switched something on in my brain that sexual desire said ‘hello’ well and truly (yeah, quite some shock But that doesn’t mean one couldn’t go one’s whole life happily asexual (I would have had I understood I could tell unwanted attention to go f*^% itself). Anyway, I understand you and accept you as you wonderfully are

By: fleur

fleur — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:53:50 +0000

Hi Donna,

I find it amazing that as someone who is asexual the degree of hostility toward my lack of sexual feeings there is. People seem to think that I MUST REALLY be attracted to SOMEONE, but – no, the only attraction I feel to people is for their intellect and that doesn’t involve physical attraction at all – and it has been that way all my life . . .
As you know, I appear quite masculine, but that is just because I don’t see a point in wasting time doing my hair and I HATE dresses and fancy clothes . . . plus I do everything around my house, so it is practical to be muscular . . .

I guess society is moving in the right direction in that GLBT people are not harassed AS much as in the past, but still, people need to realize that even if you allow for streight and GLBT there is still more variation.

fleur

By: paula

paula — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 05:02:18 +0000

Couldn’t agree more that ‘what matters is that we can love and be loved as ourselves’.

I came to one conclusion after gaining a degree in women and gender studies – throughout which I maintained a consistant interest in sexuality, gender identity and the connections between:

Some people can define their gender and sexuality neatly into the existing social categories – and quite alot can’t!!!!

What continues to surprise me is that society is still so utterly concerned with trying.

Frankly, I wonder if it being ‘straight’ might be just a little boring…