As a multiple compartmentalisation of my soul is normal… I’ve been that was since at least age 2. Some of my alters developed when the earlier self couldn’t make the developmental leap, split off, regressed, but left the new host functioning intermittently too, so the two then continued as separate senses of self. This is what happened with me, as Core Self, as dissociated part of me began connecting with the world I split away from that part and left it there, now called Esby… then Esby began to recognise people as people and attachment was begining, but Esby couldn’t cope, only ready for the world of objects and animals, so left a dissociated part hosting… who identified as Polly… then as school loomed Polly had only idiosyncratic speech but a dissociated part of her developed from self directed echolalia to echolalia directed at others as if it were communication and so came Carol…. but along the way was a Protector, like Willie, a defender, like Marnie, and jester/muse, like Da, and those who were ‘sacrificed’… Katrina, Addie, Anne, Bobbi-Lee (Angel)… those who became the compartments for damage containment of different forms… when Bobbi-Lee asked me (co-consciously, within my own world) who created ‘her’ I explained that none of us did, ‘she’ just sprung up, emerged, in response to survival needs and trauma management… that none of us intended to leave ‘her’ soul in such a broken state… then I told Bobbi-Lee that sometimes its those sacrificed who are the unrecognised inner warriors.. those who endured so much the others, already traumatised, could not further carry. Then I told Bobbi-Lee it was not too late now to join the party and embrace life healthily as the others have come to within my watch as ‘house parent’.
- Why admiration is not true connection – Polly Samuel (aka ‘Donna Williams’)
7:52 am, January 17, 2017