We absolutely need to accept that some people just are rude people and others have bad days where they are rude to people and others have bad moments… and… as long as that rudeness is only 0-3 out of 10, let it slide because you need to spread the sunshine, not the shit…

and if its 3-5 out of 10 then if you know the rest of your day may be ok, let that slide too… because people have a right to be ignorant, grumpy, stupid sometimes and that’s THEIR JOURNEY…

and if its a 6-8 then that’s worth a cry but best to maybe do that in a safe comforting space because yes, the world can be tough and there are days we’ll each meet an arsehole out there and there’s days we’ll be the arsehole out there…

and either way we’ll probably end up feeling bad so at least tomorrow may be better if we work towards improving its chances of being so. And if the bad stuff is 9-10 out of 10 then we pretty much need to get professional help… a mediator, a trusted and BALANCED friend, maybe even a counselor or a cop depending on what happened.

But tomorrow is still another new day, a day where we can try and spread the sunshine or the shit and hopefully we are emotionally wise enough to go for spreading the sunshine… because the shit usually then falls by the wayside and takes care of itself without us watching and fixating on it

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.

http://www.myspace.com/nobodynowherethefilm
http://www.donnawilliams.net
http://www.aspinauts.com

This item originally posted here:

Having a bad day

ANNA KENNEDY:
1. How would you define bullying?
DONNA WILLIAMS:
Repeated intimidation/abuse on a physical, emotional or psychological level by someone in a more powerful position than oneself. Now that can be by someone the same age or size if you don’t have the ability to stand up for yourself, tend to freeze, break down, dissociate. It can be someone younger or smaller than you who has been put in a position of power over you. It can be done directly or online. It can be done by those you know or by strangers, by those you can identify or those hiding their identity. It can be done through photographing the person without their permission, through publishing details of their home information for the purpose of building hatred or inciting others to abuse them. Bullying generally involves isolating the person being bullied, gaining power over them. It’s often a narcissistic act by those who have weak self esteem and artificially puff up their egos through bullying others. Those who incite others to join the bullying may have even weaker self esteem or more insatiable egos in that their own bullying antics are not enough to satisfy their lust for power so they prop this up with inciting others to join THEM.

ANNA KENNEDY:
2. Were you ever bullied at school because of your autism and if so how did it affect you ?
DONNA WILLIAMS:
I was bullied at school from grade prep but didn’t understand it was bullying. The first bully would pretend to be a good twin then go around the shelter sheds, come back and be the bad twin and pinch, shove and slap me. I learned by my teens there were no such identical twins at the school. Essentially, I think kids like this are exploring boundaries, their own power, their good and bad sides and who they are or want to be. I think kids like this are morally and emotionally underdeveloped. They are often very intelligent but emotionally and morally, they are backward. I also think they have narcissistic tendencies or are in fact narcissistic and this may be because they were over indulged or the opposite. I feel this particular girl was intrigued by my severe face blindness and my complete lack of questioning of reality. She was waiting to see how far she could go, when she’d get caught. I think it was obviously unfair play, but it reflects more the lack of awareness about autism and lack of advocacy re teachers helping mainstream children to understand things like meaning deafness, face blindness… neurological differences. I also think there’s an assumption that all woman, young girls, even children in general are somehow flawless, that they can’t do cruel, deranged, even evil things.

In grade 1 & 2 I was pulled down from the monkey bars and kicked by a particularly narcissistic queen bee who was very proud of being the most popular girl in the school. She would line up her friends and count them off in ratings of popularity. She had girls competing to be her friend. I think she bullied me to impress her friends and because I didn’t admire or idolise her as other girls did. I think she was unnerved by realness. I think my autism perplexed and irritated her. Her brother had been friends with my brother until one day he said to my brother ‘is your sister one of them spastics’ and that really destroyed my brother’s ability to see me as human and equal, it socially isolated him, he became ashamed of me. But it also shows the social milieu of this girl, that she grew up in a family where the children were allowed to think of themselves as superior, special, talented compared to those with disabilities. The girl in particular had no problem with being exceptional. She was attractive, intelligent, fashionable, did dancing lessons and passed for ‘talented’. I just think some children are their parents’ ‘narcissistic object’ and so they haven’t learned to relate well human to human, not really. I had something she didn’t, something she could never have or be. She may have felt superior, but I believe deep down inside she was a hollow human being.

In grade 3 I was stood out in the corridor for around 1/3rd of my school year by my teacher because I had Tourette’s tics. In grade 4 I was stood in the rubbish bin by another teacher who threw chalk at me for the entertainment of the class. Being bullied by teachers was degrading, particularly the second one who utilised the class to increase his power of ridicule. I know these people were frustrated by my tics, echolalia, constant inattention, meaning deafness. I feel ignorance is part of that and they lacked training in how to not take my autism personally and strategies to manage my issues respectfully and constructively.

In grade 5 I was being taunted by the popular girls and this continued into grade 6 where it escalated to being encircled with chanting of ‘zombie’ and being shoved. By then I realised others were also bullied… for red hair, for having body odor, for having crooked teeth, for having a strange face or head shape etc etc… I was just getting it for being meaning deaf, meaning blind, lacking simultaneous processing of self and other, going into dissociation when confronted… I was the rabbit in the headlights. It perplexed these kids. They were unnerved by what they didn’t understand, were testing the boundaries, how far they could push, they were also struggling with their own narcissism and banding together with other narcissists to feel better about their own lack of humility, integrity, humanity… these were their disabilities. At the time it was very scary, more of my own disabilities than of them, my inability to get my mouth and body to respond. What happened though was it did respond after the events and these children found themselves suddenly picked off one by one when they (and I) least expected. They were suddenly pushed down stairs, shoved into the wall, had their hand grabbed and the desk lid slammed on it. So delayed processing counted for something and Exposure Anxiety may have frozen me when confronted but once it had lowered it was the bullies who were in trouble. The reputation for unpredictable retaliations meant they came to fear me (I was already deemed crazy). But the reaction of staff was that I was the one who was crazy, dangerous, and they couldn’t find out what the others had done to me to result in my progressive sudden violent outbursts.

In high school I was instantly set upon by one kid after another. At that point my father wrapped my fists in tea towels and trained me to box. I became an extremely good fighter, then I was harassed into fighting others, I was encircled and other kids were shoved toward me and if I didn’t hit they would just knock me out.

How did it effect me? I understood cruel humans existed. My own parent was extremely abusive on every level, so I started school aware of a very harsh world. So in a sense I took it in my stride. I didn’t cower because I wasn’t used to being protected. I also didn’t fixate on the bullies. I gravitated toward those who were kind, gentle, quiet kids. I found my own space or hung on the peripheries watching others. I climbed trees and spent my time up there. I was fairly content being the observer. I think my experiences made me quite the anthropologist. I do feel glad none of it was a shock. I feel glad I already knew harshness because this made me see the bullying in context, see the good people who were not bullies, see that bullies were a minority.

ANNA KENNEDY:
3. How do you stop bullying in mainstream schools and in the community?
DONNA WILLIAMS:
I think narcissism needs to be addressed. Why do we presume that constantly inflating people’s egos is the best motivator? Why do we fixate on who is winning, superior, gorgeous, exceptional, most talented, fashionable? Why do we rely on and promote extrinsic rewards? Why do we encourage children to identify with their expensive goods, their clothing brands, the hair style/tattoo/piercing they have, the drink can they prefer? Why do we emphasise heros instead of becoming the person we could most trust? Why do we overvalue pride and specialness and and confuse it with self esteem which comes with integrity, humility, a sense of our own equality? Why do we pander to the tantrums and whims of out of control egos? Why do we confuse overcaring/co-dependency and the learned helplessness it promotes with real caring and love (which is empowering)? Why do we hypocritically promote being ‘different’ then encourage fads where everyone competes to be the same version of different? Why do adults model blame politics or turning a blind eye on anything that might otherwise be ‘another burden’? See without looking at the broader context we can’t address the moral, emotional, mental, personality health of children. Sure, we can address ignorance about autism, promote equality in difference. But without looking at the illness of our current values, it is hard to change what happens in the world in general. How do we stop bullying? We challenge the values of society itself. We enlighten human beings not just about autism, but about their own issues.

ANNA KENNEDY:
4. How do you teach your child when to ignore and when to stand up to the bullies?
DONNA WILLIAMS:
There’s a game I use to help kids desensitize to insults. Its the insult-compliment game. You brainstorm a list of random potential insults and a list of compliments. Cut each out from the list and put them into a hat, a top hat is fun. Take turns drawing out and reading these in turns with each other or in a group. What happens is then when the person hears some of these at school, they are ‘just sentences’, plus they can then imagine a compliment/affirmation they could then give themselves privately to balance up the insult they heard.

I also think that bullies often crave attention and may be dramatic-histrionic, so whilst ignoring them often makes sense, sometimes ignoring them inflames them so they’ll escalate to the point of violence to ensure their ‘fix’ of a response. One thing is certain, they are seeking power, so degrading them usually won’t help, they are probably fairly experienced in their bullying and can simply take it up a level. So if ignoring them inflames them further you can agreed to ‘negotiate’. This should be with a mediator in a safe and supervised setting. There you can hear them out, why are they so uncomfortable? Could it be they are uncomfortable in themselves but they instead project this onto the person they bully? How can people help them to feel better about themselves without bullying? Are you really doing something that annoys or perplexes them? Are they lacking some awareness that could help them get over that? Are there things you can healthily do to reduce what’s annoying them? Having a negotiator respectfully talk to a bully about their own self esteem, about narcissism, about boundaries, can help them become a healthier person. The negotiator can also help the person with autism gain insight about how their own stuff is perceived, model advocacy skills, help them understand new strategies to reduce behaviors which may inadvertently perplex, embarrass or annoy others.

ANNA KENNEDY:
5. What support should be given to a child that has experienced bullying?’

DONNA WILLIAMS:
Bullying is often traumatic so those who have experienced significant bullying need treatment for trauma. But this doesn’t mean an overzealous supercarer needs to don a cape and fly to the rescue because their precious disabled child was slighted in some way. Life is full of surprises and knocks and great times too. We need the crap to illuminate how wonderful the good stuff is. Wish away every negative experience and you have someone who can’t measure how good anything is, takes it all for granted, has no contrast, and with that contrast often comes motivation. We need to help children to realistically measure the degree of what they’ve been through, what they’ve learned from it, the strategies they are missing or need to develop. Running from every knock and negative will not help someone’s development. Sooner or later we are all on our own to fend for ourselves, even if we’re 45, in nappies, in a residential care unit or day centre. All of us will ultimately fend for ourselves. The sooner we healthily empower children to do this, the better off they will later be. It won’t be a paint by numbers controllable life, but it will be an active, engaging one in which one is a more empowered (albeit perhaps still disabled) human being.

Sometimes just getting an overprotective/co-dependent carer to learn how to instead empower their child is really helpful. Carers who constantly fear on behalf of their child train the child to feel incompetent in a world of constant threats. An empowering carer recognises the potential threats but never loses sight of the benefits and actively works not on bolstering ego type pride but on more integral self assertiveness skills, even training in boxing or martial arts with which the person can have faith they can, if necessary physically defend themselves.

ANNA KENNEDY:
6. If the child with autism is the bully and does not appear to understand their actions how do you support them?
DONNA WILLIAMS:
It depends on what drives the bullying. Kids with Exposure Anxiety can strike the child they wish to greet because of involuntary self protection responses. Some kids are averse to intimacy and so fascinated by inciting carers to counter control them which gives them an enjoyable reinstatement of social distance. Some are drawn to the power of effecting a carer through attacking someone the carer protects (psychopathy). Some will torment or bully someone because they are playing out what they’ve seen on a DVD or game. Some will have sensory fascinations with hair and pulling it. Some will have Tourette’s tics that cause them to involuntarily slap objects, people or themselves. Some will have visual perceptual disorders where they can’t see the person’s face or body as a whole so may strike out just to gain space. Some will have language processing disorders that make them aversive to those using torrents of blah or certain voice tones that grate on them so they’ll target those with these things. Some will have PTSD associations which spill over into new experiences where a child reminds them of something that happened in another time or place. Some will have sadistic or narcissistic personality disorders in addition to their autism and confused with their autism. Some will have behavioral issues associated with pain, disorientation or imbalanced brain chemistry associated with gut, immune, metabolic disorders and resulting in mood, anxiety, compulsive disorders that spill out into targeting particular easy targets. So the strategy to help them understand their actions and support them depends on the range of underlying causes in each case.

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.

http://www.myspace.com/nobodynowherethefilm
http://www.donnawilliams.net
http://www.aspinauts.com

This item originally posted here:

Autism and bullying

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.

http://www.myspace.com/nobodynowherethefilm
http://www.donnawilliams.net
http://www.aspinauts.com

This item originally posted here:

Inside the mind of haters and trolls

I am more than my autism, I am more than my DID, I’m also more than my primary immune deficiencies or my sensory perceptual disorders. But all of these things are part of my daily life and I have a right to be openly all that I am, including being an artist, being female, being Australian. There’s particularly some on the spectrum who can’t bear the idea that their autism is a fruit salad, detest me for suggesting so, discredit me on the basis that I am also dx’d with DID, claiming therefore I’m mentally ill = invalid/pitiable… anyway, their vitriol is so narcissistic they feel they are doing me a favor having sympathy for me.

This is because of reductionist versus holistic (non reductionist) thinking. Saying someone ONLY has a developmental OR a dissociative OR a compulsive OR a mood OR an anxiety OR a personality disorder is like saying one can ONLY have diabetes OR gout OR dermatitis OR like saying one can only be blond OR gay OR tall OR 51 OR have piercings. Purists and bigots can go to their own ghetto even if they imagine it is some unquestionable purist nirvana. I’m happy with the glorious untidy box that I am.

Kimberly Mahurin
Once again Donna, you make me smile big. You go girl!! Set those boundaries! If they are narcissistic they are fighting you because they see every view that another may have of them as a criticism not because they think they are better than others but because they suffer the lowest chronic form of low self-worth and self esteem. They appear to sometimes act better than others by their actions, but if they put down others they don’t have to face the underlying feelings they are really having. Their biggest fear is rejection so they fight to keep whatever image they have been able to find to survive. So, if you go at them with labels they shut down rational ideas of the sort as a mental defense mechanism. Of course this is still no excuse for bad behavior. Also the internet is the worst place for these people because it’s an addiction of which they have a play ground to run around and vent frustrations on others as they are viewed as objects. They will say things they never would in public and take frustrations out more.

LaDonna Kirkaldie Shuckahosee
One of the group! Add spina bifida, tbi, anxiety disorder and learning disabilities!

Cat Taylor
are people getting precious about their labels again? blimey

Rachel Vivace
me and autism, bipolar I (rapid cycling), borderline personality disorder, ptsd, and somaticism

Donna Bunch
well said hun i have more than one condition too!!

Devlyn Rhys Young
well said, donna et al., and besides, with 6 billion people on this planet..there are no “pure” anythings!…we live in a human spectrum of interconnectedness… so ‘purists’ are deluding themselves… and adding to the divisiveness, which serves no higher purpose i can discern… i’m with you…100%

Lisa Marie Beddell
i’m disconnected too so bigots got something to say to me too come on my chat show and say you cant accept somebody who’s different and ill bar you. I’ve had idiots on my chat page too get these kinds on all pages they r.a waste o space. everybodies different its what makes us all unique and special if we were all the same the world would be a very boring place. Yeah there are some on my show on the spectrum who are like this too they believe that a therapist is trying to change them as a person & take away there autism I was trying to explain that a therapist is trying to help us learn us the warning signs so we don’t get hurt in the world but it seems they didn’t understand I just don’t get why sum ppl on the spectrum believe they have only 1 condition & that the ppl that are trying to make there lives easier they won’t acknowledge I don’t get it I probably have more than one condition too but I haven’t been tested for others I think I have mutism & social phobia too. How can somebody on the spectrum criticize somebody else on the spectrum its ridiculous its like me being a grey pan saying to a grey pan you are grey but I’ve got a spout too and you haven’t its silly if we have autism we have autism we are all equal and deserve respect for who we are. I have possibly 4 other things as well as autism I just haven’t been assessed for more I think I have selective mutism social phobia emotional difficulties DID & savantism but they won’t test me for these things so ill probably never know if I have more than one but who cares if we have one or 51 we still all in the same ‘boat’ as they say we still all got it. It does all this talk of purists sounds nazi.

Libby Board What?
There are seriously people put there who don’t like people to have more then one condition? What on earth would they say? Seems to me that they would be the ones with um…a few ‘conditions’ themselves. in my experience it is also psychologists and health professions that have a hard time with multiple issues in the one client. I have had psychologists ‘dump’ me before. and each one i’ve been to says i’ve got a different label….and only that label. Or if they do realise that you have separate issues….they want you to make a separate appointment for each and every issue! And they call ME single focused!

Marla Wise Miller
Even ‘a-typical’ types can have more than one condition.

Carmel Anne Jones
They often make up their mind that I just have one thing and disregard when I tell them of other symptoms.

Alyson Bradley AsPlanet
The “fruit salad” is the good bit which has helped shape the creative, intriguing individual that you are. Any chance of having a permanent session ticket, I will try and behave, but no promises as no idea where my mind may take me next At times I feel others would like to stick labels on me like plasters, and put me in a sub group so they can ignore, some kind of get lost trying to hard to conform and forget the brilliant diversity that surrounds us all, myself I can only be the individual I am and we all are!

Katja Gottschewski
Donna – tell those people they can’t have autism AND purism!

Reswobian Dreaming
The labels only describe some of our behaviours so some other people can understand us. They are arbitrary categorizations of human diversity. Human categorise reality to make sense of it but the problem is that most people take the categories as fact. I generally keep the label to myself unless I can tell they have a certain level of intelligence. It generally scares most people. People shouldn’t be judging other people anyway, whether they have labels plastered all over them or not. We are all living beings and deserving of the same respect. I must have a relatively uncomplicated life. I only have Asperger’s Disorder and mild depression. I think I have other things lurking in the background but they are mild enough for people to just sweep it under the carpet. That actually reminds me about Australian Aboriginals. Some people seem to be arguing about who is really Aboriginal or not. If we argue about who is “purely”autistic and belongs in the group and who is not, we will all be split asunder. How can we support each other?

Carmel Anne Jones
I just want to be believed when I say I have Asperger’s. Too many people say “oh yeah” but then they expect me to do stuff I really can’t. For example, today I was talking to a co-worker about how I thought it was a shame the last lot of temp workers we had weren’t introduced to us and vice versa. The result was tension and mistrust between the two groups of workers. She said I should just introduce myself. I said, “I couldn’t do that”. She replied, just go up to them and say “Hi, my name is …..”. Yes well, that is something I could never do.

Lynda Phillips
I’ve lost count of my co morbids

Sondra Williams
the only co morbids of me is of anxiety , depression, PTSD . I to have things that co inside with my autism such as CAPD, SID, SIB, syntax dysfunctions, health wise I to have of fibromyalgia, sjogrens, asthma, allergies, andis of suspect of mitochondrial disease

Kim Bailey
My son has Autism, epilepsy, tourettes & asthma, it would be wonderful in a fantasy world to have one condition only….but sadly we have to live in the real world so have to face reality

Melody Rain
wow. that is crazy. its funny how many of us fight to be accepted as those who have autism or Aspergers and want so badly to be accepted and there are those who have autism/aspergers who can not accept others??? just because you have more than one condition does not make you any less of a person with autism just like having autism does not make you any less of a person. who cares what other disorders that we have that may accompany autism? if you have autism you have autism. all this purity stuff sounds nazi to me.

Isabelle Monod
these “bigots” & “purists” are in fact “REDUCTORS” so afraid to look outside their uncomfortable “comfort zone” ! i meant people who are reducing, their views, their knowledge to what as been approved ! if you don’t fit the mold, they are not going to look for a larger one…you ‘ll get reduced to their own belief ! diversity is what makes each of us a unique rainbow ! Narrow minded people stay in the grey areas, they sometime try to connect with the colorful ones for the wrong reasons: not to understand & embrace their colors but really to bring them to their own level,where they feed themselves the pre-digested foods of their own contentment !!!!!keep your colors shining Donna ! you are an inspiration also for not letting the greys influence your rainbow !!!!!!

Love Sanchez-Suarez
i think a first part of respect is to have the imagination to believe a person about their own reality.

Diana Paige Sheeks
My daughter has autism and OCD and anxiety disorder. MY son has autism and adhd. I think I can handle it. When we put ourselves out in the world wide web, we open ourselves up to good and bad. People feel safer saying on the internet or in an email what they would never say to someone’s face, as if the keyboard gives them some reassurance or bravery.

Jane Waterman
These purists aren’t doctors are they? *rolls eyes*

Michelle Leatherbury
I have Co-morbid conditions, Bipolar, ADHD and Aspergers. You accept someone for the whole person, not just part of a person, that wouldn’t be accepting them completely. No problems here. ♥ (((hugs))) ♥

Karen Simmons
We love you Donna for who you are….as you are

Ryan McReynolds
I hear you on that Donna, I remember when I told some idiot I am autistic he said wouldn’t you not talk, and he had it in his head that autistic means you can’t talk or be on the PC, but I know I am able to talk, sing and type and all that….I ended up blocking the idiot

Linda Wheeler
early night for me, i am suffering from knackereditis lol.

Vanessa Sullivan
I have someone in my family who had DID and she’s wonderful and so are you lovey, screw what others think, You just gotta be you besides which everyone else is taken, so it makes sense to be yourself…:D

Sandra Sea
I completely understand. Yes, you can have more than one diagnosis. Imagine that. One diagnosis does not fit all. You can have co-occurrence. Stay strong….

Jessi Michaels
reminds me of a psychiatrist I met during a hospitalization; he told me he couldn’t understand how I could be smiling and laughing while suffering from depression and feeling suicidal. He said it was not possible to have two conflicting emotions at one time….hmmmm….scares me to think about all the people in the world who are secretly hiding behind a laugh and a smirk while they are so sad they can’t figure out how to continue living. Oh yeah…we’re in trouble

Donna Williams
Hey Jessi, well with DID its like that… the presenting part can be having a relaxed seemingly pleasant day and another part inside is screaming, another crying, another singing, another laughing at wisecracks it’s making. At first all this was deemed my ‘bipolar’ (yes, as a co-morbid with my autism)… and bipolar is listed as a common co-morbid with autism… so given one of the most common dx’s of those dx’d later with DID is bipolar, there’s bound to be some crossover in those who have also experienced trauma.

Maria ‘Ria’ Strong
I’ve heard it talked about as “the difference slot” – you can only deviate from “normal” in so many ways (ie one or two) before most people can’t mentally deal with it. I once went to Pride with a sign saying Mad Crip Wog Queer Grrl With Attitude. In rainbow colors. Got a lot of attention. Hope I made a point Dragonsani Renteria wrote a poem called “Rejection”:

Society rejects me for being Deaf.
The Deaf community reject me for being a Lesbian.
The Lesbian community reject me for not being able to hear them.
The Deaf-Lesbian community reject me for being into S&M.
The S&M community reject me for being Deaf.
Society rejects me for being Chicana.
The Hispanic community reject me for being a Lesbian.
Patriarchal society rejects me for being a woman.
I am rejected and oppressed,
Even by those who cry out readily
Against rejection, oppression, and discrimination.
When will it end?

This item originally posted here:

Co-morbids: How dare you have more than one condition!

In terms of foreignness, many people are extremely alienated from DID, yet can cope with PTSD which is also on the spectrum of dissociative disorders. They can cope with OCPD and AvPD which are personality disorders but are nervous of NPD, BPD or sociopathy which are also personality disorders. They can cope with depression but are nervous of bipolar. They can cope with mental breakdown but are nervous of schizophrenia. They can cope with anxiety disorders but struggle with suicide or self harm. They can cope with alcoholism but struggle with drug addictions.

It’s as if they have such a hierarchy of mental illnesses. People may want those with mental illness to hide the issues they live with. But if we were in a wheelchair would we be expected to hide it? If we were pregnant, gay, blond, atheist, would we expected to hide those too? I think the biggest disability is being a bigot. I think if we can collectively help people overcome bigotry they and we will all be more comfortable.

I am diagnosed with DID as well as autism.

Dissociative Identity Disorder is a DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER and part of a SPECTRUM of DISSOCIATIVE DISORDERS… so is PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and all human beings dissociate, especially before age 5.

Autistic children dissociate more than most due to chronic stress and information overload. This does not mean they develop DID though, like any co-morbid condition some have been diagnosed with both conditions. The tendency of those with autism to dissociate more commonly than other children means they would be more at risk of dissociative disorders along the spectrum of dissociative disorders just as they are also more prone to anxiety disorders (and dissociation is a response to chronic anxiety).

The spectrum of dissociative disorders includes Derealisation, Depersonalisation and also PTSD. PTSD commonly effects those who have been subject to things like chronic bullying, restraint, even overly intensive interventions a child may find disempowering or traumatizing.

Next along the spectrum of dissociative disorders is DD Nos… a sort of lesser developed form of DID. DID is one of the most severe Dissociative Disorders with the most severe of the dissociative disorders being Polyfragmented DID.

Hence only those who have experienced severe ongoing trauma usually would develop a dissociative disorder as severe as DID. It is believed that 25% of chronically abused children develop it and that there are predispositions toward dissociation. Child abuse does not discriminate. It effects all kinds of children, including those with developmental disabilities. Child abuse does not cause autism, but there is a higher rate of child abuse of children with developmental disabilities than of typically developing children and a higher rate of children with disabilities going into care as a result. The murders of autistic children are testimony to this truth, a truth we must face.

One of the reasons people fear the DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER of DID is that it used to be called MPD (then wrongly believe to be a personality disorder). DID was also often confused with BPD (a personality disorder) or Schizophrenia (a psychosis) but is now differentiated from both though some people will have both or even all three and others will just have DID.

DID is part of a SPECTRUM of dissociative disorders where MPD was not considered part of a spectrum and was deemed a personality disorder. These days people diagnose DID, not MPD as they feel MPD was an anomaly, a misunderstanding of DID within the spectrum of dissociative disorders.

The mental disorders are many – dissociative disorders, identity disorders, personality disorders, compulsive disorders, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, psychotic disorders… none is actually nicer, neater, cleaner, trendier than another…. it depends on who has it, how they manage it, how they live along side of it.

those with autism often have AvPD or OCPD – personality disorders, or anxiety disorders or mood disorders or compulsive disorders or a combo of the lot – all of them MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS! So its about time we drew the line against bigotry and the purists.

Donna Williams *)
author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.

Ever the arty Autie.
http://www.donnawilliams.net
http://www.myspace.com/donnaandtheaspinauts
http://www.auties.org

This item originally posted here:

Fear of co-morbid mental health issues and ignorance about dissociative disorders

As the author of 10 published books, an international public speaker and professional autism consultant I’m best known in the autism world. But I have a wide following in the D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder) and MPD populations too.

It used to be believed that Autism was one thing.  But professionals today have acknowledged that autistic withdrawal, autistic encapsulation, autistic development can be underpinned or exacerbated by a wide variety of things – mood, anxiety, compulsive disorders, gut, immune, metabolic disorders, sensory hypersensitivities, sensory perceptual disorders, neurological integration disorders, motor planning disorders, speech and communication disorders.

As an autism consultant I experienced verbal and non-verbal people with autism express issues with gender identity, involuntary avoidance, diversion and retaliation responses, attachment disorders associated with severe sensory perceptual disorders and other selves.

Those with autism are more likely to experience bullying, to be treated as a condition not a child, to have parents divided in their perspective on the child and its autism, to be in classrooms where it is over managed or disliked, to be in frequent respite care, to experience siblings struggling with their autism, to experience family break up and the loss of a carer, and the number of autistic children in children’s homes indicates that many autistic children have also experienced significant neglect, abuse and trauma before going into care and some whilst in care.

DID doesn’t just occur in those who have lived with severe trauma, neglect, abuse or loss. It has been found in those who have never experienced these things and in those who had a dissociated parent, indicating there’s a heritable aspect to dissociation. Whilst dissociation is also a common part of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), this is commonly mistaken for true DID although those with BPD may be more susceptible to it.

I was assessed as psychotic at the age of 2 in 1965, the same year I dissociated into the first of my other selves – a male self called Willie. The second self developed at age 4 – Carol.

I have diagnoses of language processing disorder, visual perceptual disorder, autism and gut, immune, metabolic disorders. I have been treated for mood, anxiety and compulsive disorders, including PTSD. It was, however, not until this year, 2010 that I was formally diagnosed with D.I.D.

I live with:

• Little Donna, who is the original self.  She is tactile, sensory, sensual, gentle and warm.

• Willie, who was fully formed by age 2.  He is the warrior, the protector, proud of detachability, resilient, reliable, autonomous, just, serious, logical, methodical, conscientious and a loner.

• Carol, who was fully formed by age 4.  She is a generally cheery, theatrical, idiosyncratic, sensitive, emotional, idealistic, romantic, blind optimist and the home of hope.

• Da Boy, who began around age 4 was fully formed by late childhood.  He is hedonistic, adventurous, rude, surreal, comical, highly physical and a fighter.

• Aunty Donna, who was fully formed by late childhood.  She is quiet, gentle, warm, self sacrificing and takes responsibility for everything.  Aunty Donna and Da Boy who were fully formed by late childhood.

• Nobody (Anne, from my middle name LeAnne), who existed around age 4 in parks, gardens, connects to trees, wind, water but disappeared and re-emerged around age 9-11, then at 13, then from 16-18, then, then 26-27, then 36-37, otherwise intermittently since.  She is very quiet, warm, highly sensing, empathic, secretive, private, aloof, ethereal.   Unlike Aunty Donna, Nobody (Anne) feels no guilt or responsibility, just empathy.  She believes in belonging with, in simply being, and is the main painter and sculptor.

These 6 Donnas are each a complete identity in their own right.  There are  others who have particular functions:

• Dodds who started at 13 and is the foundation of my interest in journalism.

• Marnie who was the wild child and street kid and was present on and off from age 13-17.

• Dondola who was the Italian self who gained acceptance and food from Italian families otherwise unaccepting of the equality of Anglo Australian girls.

• Shirley/Audrey who was a practical farming woman with the style of Ma Kettle and developed from being sent to the country for respite.

I’d like to hear your stories.

• To those who are functionally non-verbal and use typing, when you type do you have one self wanting to communicate and the other screaming to avoid it? If so, do you experience this as two selves? If so how do you distinguish the two?

• To any autistic adults who had been significantly more autistic but learned to function socially and interactively, to become parents or hold jobs, do you experience a division between the more internal autistic self and the one who has come to function in the external world or are they integrated? If you experience duality or multiplicity, how do you distinguish each?

• To those with the involuntary avoidance, diversion, retaliation responses of Exposure Anxiety, did you rely on dissociation to escape the otherwise crippling degree of your Exposure Anxiety?

• To those with BPD who have other selves.  Are these roles or fully developed selves with their own sets of memories, feelings, perspectives and mannerisms?

• To those with DID.  How do you feel about integration of the selves?  What do you see as the resolution to your DID?

You can find more information about my journey at www.donnawilliams.net

This item originally posted here:

Autism, identity and dissociation

baloombawop

Written and produced by Donna Williams

and performed by Donna and The Aspinauts

Once upon tough time, there were Grumpy Gallumphies who didn’t like strangeness it made them quite grumpy. Then a magical train arrived from a dream and those who could dare, they had dared to get in. It was off to Baloomba-wop where they had purple rain, and a shop that even sold new replacement brains!

They would meet Charlie Warmton whose best friend was a blanket, and the Brookenstein Fox who lives up on a shelf, and Bluster-McFluster with his technical gadgets and the Gimmety-Gimme with everything for herself. They’d meet Booger-Looger who picks his nose to perfection and the Whirly-twirl-girl who lacks any direction. And Gadoodleborger who runs a magical shop which just happens to be where the train is to stop.

But deep in Baloomba-wop, a Grumpy Gallumphy, the notorious Dame Grumpty-Doo-bee-the-Fourth. She is looking to change Baloomba-wop for forever. She’s determined to make all these weirdoes quite plain. Will she be stopped before everything’s ‘normal’, I wonder. Or succeed making all be exactly the same?

Baloomba-wop is an interactive, off the wall, musical adventure for kids and kids at heart. It should appeal to fans of Dr Seuss, Lewis Carroll, Roald Dahl. The land of Baloomba-wop is magically brought to life through the complete dag-dom of The Aspinauts and the gestural signing and characterisations of their storyteller-lead singer, Donna Williams.

It runs for an hour and audience members are invited to actively participate throughout.

We can also bring the show to your party, holiday program, kindergarten, school or festival.


REVIEWS:

As The Aspinauts changed gear quicker than a red Ferrari, front-woman Donna kept apace brilliantly with her phonetically charged lyrics and mesmerizing hands shaping the melody like an artist at the easel. I watched, captivated like the crowd around me. Each song blurred deliciously into the next with Donna’s spoken word etching out the poetry of human condition, always so very eloquent and astutely connected to the song the band was about to launch into. I intuitively looked around to see the reaction of people who might not have had the chance to experience such a richly flavoured ensemble before. I can confidently say that The Aspinauts had the crowd in the rather elusive ‘palm of the hand’. I thoroughly recommend an audience with Donna and the Aspinauts if you are ever given the chance. Each of your five senses will be buzzing before the end of the first song, and by the end of the show, you’ll be definitely Aspi-fied.”

- Heidi Everett

What an eye-opening night I had watching Donna and the Aspinauts! Amongst the rhythmic beats and uplifting tunes were embedded lyrics that move the soul. Through poetry and raw emotion I could not take my eyes or ears off this group. Explanations and perspectives that I have never thought to explore, bombarded me and lifted me to a higher place. One minute I wanted to dance in the aisles, next I was dumbfounded by Donna’s ability to express. The Aspinauts stage presence is one no other group can contend with. I was taken on a wacky rollercoaster ride that spat me out at the end feeling empowered and inspired. They explore world issues, personal conquests and how difficult it is circumnavigating the social world. A must see for all!

- Adele Kristens

What a funny bunch. The lady is a true entertainer. She told amusing tales of life on the edge of society and made me envious I didn’t join her there. Real life? Social norms and expectations? Pah! Look what fun I’m having! She expressed herself even more with flailing arms and facial expressions than her voice, and began each song with a poem quickly captured by interesting and mischievous music. Tongue-in-cheek? Perhaps not. It cannot be genre-defined. I sincerely hope the lady is available for children’s parties.

- Jo Robinson

As remarkable a spokeswoman, activist, artist, author, and musician Donna is, her humanity is what really sets her apart; her humor, passion, wit and insight into the world around her; her ability to see beauty in everyday things, her playfulness, her way of being in the world. Donna changed the way I see everyone.

- Stina R.

• “Confronting, amazing and informative”.
• “Great, wonderful, get her back here.”
• “Very informative, entertaining delivery with a great sense of humor. What an incredible lady.”

- Audience members, Wodonga, Australia.

Donna being so lively, human, funny and so true to herself , sparks of the same in me. Her standing up for everyone’s right to their individuality, her celebration of differences, and her joy of simply being, allows me to be more of myself and to discover rich inner worlds.

- Malai Sontheimer, UK

We are:

For children’s parties or children’s holiday bookings throughout Melbourne contact:
Donna Williams
bookings@donnawilliams.net

This item originally posted here:

Melbourne Children’s Theatre: rock musical, BALOOMBAWOP, by Donna & The Aspinautsn’s

Donna Williams, Dip Ed, BA Hons.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.

Ever the arty Autie.
http://www.donnawilliams.net
http://www.aspinauts.com

This item originally posted here:

That Tony Attwood Controversy – Donna Williams interviews Tony Attwood

Do you think somebody might have made him gay

If you shook his hand, would you then catch AIDS

Can you spot it in his walk, or his pastel shirts

If he waved hello would you think he flirts.

Well, that…. that… that’s so gay.

 

Is he catty, is he whiny, is he bitchy, is he clean?

Is he hanging with a gal pal, like a drama queen?

Is he into leather, does he wear a satin suit.

Do you collect gay friends because you think they’re cute?

Well, that…. that… that’s so gay.

 

Does he have a limp wrist, is he first to dance?

Is his family last to know, where he finds romance?

Is your brain brainwashed with some bigot’s rule?

Do you think if you hurt him that will make you cool.

Well, that…. that… that’s so gay.

 

He’s the teacher at the school. He’s conductor on the tram.

He’s doting father, with the baby pram.

He’s the son, he’s the brother, he’s the man in the street.

He’s the helpful stranger you were so glad to meet.

Now, that…. that… that’s so gay.

 

 Donna Williams, Dip Ed, BA Hons.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.

Ever the arty Autie.
http://www.donnawilliams.net
http://www.aspinauts.com

This item originally posted here:

That’s So Gay….

Both tics and OCD compulsions in those on the autism spectrum are commonly mistaken for stims (self stimulatory behaviours) but are nothing to do with volition.  Both Anthony and I have had the compulsions to check, straighten, balance and repeat patterns until they feel ‘perfect’.  They can be epilepsy related (I was diagnosed with atypical epilepsy in my 20s), brain scarring, especially from the Strep Virus (I had 2 primary immune deficiencies), aggravated by allergies and set off by things like overstimulation.  For both of us, these have driven us nuts and driven those in our environments nuts too.  And though we share tics, our tics are very different.

My tics began by age two and a half, involving compulsive stomach tensing and compulsive coughing to the degree I was coughing blood and this, combined with being meaning deaf, and having visual, verbal and body agnosias (meaning deaf, meaning blind, face blind and pain agnosia) got me assessed in a hospital assessment as psychotic in 1965 at the age of two.  By age three fist clenching, sideways looking, lip pursing and a spitting tic added themselves but the compulsive coughing and throat clearing remained the main ones.  By age four the lungeing came and by late childhood the noises and blinking tics added themselves and the coughing and throat clearing got so bad I was stood in the corridor for around 30% of my school year in grade 3 (the teacher felt I wasn’t complying to stop this annoying others).  In my teens a hand weaving tic emerged and left after being suddenly slapped (I don’t recommend this ‘treatment’) and the noises had expanded to verbal tics of ‘almond-ah’, ‘mini-mop’, ‘boggledeeboo’, ‘have a party’ and the lengthy ‘hiya woman, how’s ya hormones’.  And of course, there was me, trying to be an equal human being in a fruit salad of agnosias, semantic pragmatic disorder, severe Exposure Anxiety, untreated bipolar, OCD, Tourette’s and associated gut, immune, metabolic disorders wrapped up in an ‘autistic‘ personality package and pattern of autistic development, perception, cognition and behaviour.

But conditions also become family, they travel through your life with you, sometimes they go on holiday for days, weeks, other times they are there experiencing who hates them, who loves them, experiencing the it from the I and the confusions of the two, experiencing the bigotry, the shame, and the moments of equality where they become part of the wallpaper.

Anthony and I were on the train after an Aspinauts gig in Federation Square.  We’d been out in the square dagging about, singing, performing, little kids dancing to our music in front of us.  We were happy and buzzing, with quiet Aspie Stuart along with us, enjoying our madness with his Mona Lisa smile.  And as we sat sharing poetic surrealism on the train Anthony after the buzz and our tics interrupted now and then.  He winked and shrugged and tapped.  My complex tic fired with an occasional hand clap with a hand flick and action akin to pegging on a clothes line which I’m told collectively makes me look like a rapper.  Accompanied for the last month by the longest verbal tic I’ve ever had, ng-guh-ee-im-ah-way, Anthony quipped this makes me sound African.  And as we buzzed and chatted and shared surrealist poetry, the tics became wallpaper.  It’s a long way from the years of bullying Anthony knew which left him homeschooled or my year in the corridor, but there are kids with tics, with and without additional autism spectrum fruit salad, who are still living not only with far more severe Tourette’s but with daily bullying by those ignorant about or embarassed by difference.   Let’s change that.

–
Donna Williams *)
author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.

Ever the arty Autie.
http://www.donnawilliams.net
http://www.myspace.com/donnaandtheaspinauts
http://www.auties.org

This item originally posted here:

When Tourette’s tics become wallpaper