A forum recently started a thread called ‘I hate’.
I went on a bit of a bender but I can promise my ‘I love’ list is much longer than my hate list.
I hate when anyone gets enjoyment out of intentionally harming people.
I hate when people actively promote inequality
I hate the assumption there’s only one answer to a human problem
I hate the big sell one-size-fits-all ‘science’ claim/pitch that rips off families
I hate any prescriptive push that tells people how to be ‘normal’ or how to fit a stereotype.
I hate the way anyone assumes all people with autism or Asperger’s are all the same when we’re as different from each other as non-autistic people are from each other.
I hate the way new stereotypes are replacing old ones.
I hate it when ‘caring’ limits opportunity to discover want
I hate gushy compliments aimed at solitary people with little/no use for them
I hate being idealised then people being annoyed when I’m simply a human just like anyone else.
I hate the way TV, movies and magazines have promoted very false versions of ‘normality’ and pressured people to measure themselves by it.
I hate seeing little babies being babysat by TV for weeks on end.
I hate the bravado with which people flag wave their pride in self harming of all kinds.
I hate the days where OCD convinces me my husband Chris will die.
I hate when full on bipolar rubbish makes me unstable
I hate when my ocasional tics have people stop in their tracks and check I’m ‘ok’.
I hate when exposure anxiety makes me struggle to meet new people or social phobia makes it hard to go into the garden or down the shop.
I hate when people blah too fast and give me no processing time, no gestures to experience their words and mock me if I use objects to hold onto their different points and relationships between them.
I hate when people say ‘its easy’ then show or tell me how to do something without helping me physically map out the pattern of DOING IT.
I hate when people assume that losing a simultaneous sense of self and other is a character flaw instead of a processing issue
I hate when people think I’ve snubbed them because face blindness makes them look like an intruding stranger.
I hate when I get scared of people saying hello.
I hate when the only kind of fun as an adult that I’m offered is verbal things.
I hate that I can’t touch paintings in galleries to hold the picture together through touch.
I hate that tapping or smelling things is assumed ‘retarded’.
I hate that when I’m using gestural signing people assume I’m deaf.
I hate when people think that learning something academically translates into being able to process and manage the same thing in ‘real time’.
I hate when people say ‘you’ll get it’ and 2 years later I still can’t because its a processing issue.
I hate when people want you to mimic their structures and patterns and never be yourself, just so you can look more ‘normal’.
I hate those hard blue-white fluorescent lights in places I have to meet new people, speak, understand, learn or relax (the warm white seem ok).
I hate the third handshake in a row that makes me feel like biting the person.
I hate that we can’t easily be flawed and still be equal, but I’m still holding hope there’ll be a day we can.

And maybe I don’t hate any of those things.  Maybe they just bug me and remind me of all the things I like so much better 🙂
So what would you change with a magic wand in 2009?

and what do you love?

… Donna Williams
www.donnawilliams.net