I am diagnosed with both autism and a dissociative disorder called DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). I have met others with both diagnosed conditions so the two can certainly co-exist.

Among the alters in my DID system are Polly, Carol, Anne (but also Willie, Da, Addie, Marnie, Rose). When I was 3 Polly started to be a rabbit. When I was 9 Carol appeared to have become selectively mute and whoever went to school in the purple leotard (which was all they’d wear) was certain they were a rabbit. At 10 Anne was merging with the cat and we began speaking in ‘cat’. Animal alters are common in DID, yet I’ve found children with autism commonly becoming animals to cope with Exposure Anxiety which is essentially chronic anxiety at experiencing one’s own human existence (having a body, voice, etc).

Just because a person with autism tries on roles or BECOMES TV characters, animals or other children, doesn’t necessarily mean they have a weak Core Self. Sometimes it is because that Core Self becomes crippled by anxiety and the use of these others allows them to continue to function. This is the case with Exposure Anxiety where there is a solid Core Self entrapped within the involuntary avoidance, diversion, retaliation responses of Exposure Anxiety.

When does the assumption of another identity become INVESTED to the point the child has lost touch with their own original identity? When has the ALTER ego become HOST so much that it begins to become the more experienced identity, more experienced than the CORE SELF. And if the HOST is an animal which doesn’t speak, what does this mean for learning, social emotional and communication development?

What people don’t realise is one doesn’t need to have remarkable imagination to have remarkable REPLICATION and in fact replication is more likely to lead to an identity shift because one didn’t create it, one BECAME it. It ain’t rocket science to understand how bullying, loss, or even constantly being out of control of information overload will reinforce any human beings defense mechanisms/reliance on the safe spaces, including dissociative processes of becoming, disappearing into, an entity, an identity, other than one’s Core Self.

On my Facebook Page I have around 5000 people. Many are from the autism community. Others from the DID community. I’ve had critics in the autism community certain that no human being with autism could also experience a DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER like DID.

For them, it was simply impossible. How could someone with autism become something or someone else? Surely this showed remarkable imagination skills far beyond what any child with autism could ever have. Never mind that 1/3rd of those with autism were echolalic, some echopraxic, meaning they naturally and INVOLUNTARILY mirrored the speech or actions of others. Never mind that ALL children, including and especially those with autism NATURALLY dissociate before age 5 and that those with autism experiencing overload zone out far beyond the age of 5, sometimes becoming so adept at dissociation that intervention is required to keep them switched on and present in their body, in their voice, in their mind, in their emotions.

An interesting quote on the naturalness of dissociation and its place within the spectrum of dissociative disorders:

There are some predispositions that can have a contributing factor on the chances of developing DID. Many have a very high IQ, a very creative mind, sometimes a high grade of hypnotizability, and most importantly a predisposition to dissociate at a high level naturally.

Think of dissociation on a spectrum. At one end is ‘normal’ dissociation. midway might be PTSD and other trauma related issues. Near the far end is DID, and beyond that is polyfragmented DID.

Now these predispositions will not make someone multiple without a catalyst. The extra ingredient is TRAUMA. Not just a single trauma, but a huge massive prolonged repeated trauma, usually life threatening and unescapable. Keep in mind that the intensity of the trauma can only be judged by the person experiencing it. Another person may undergo the exact same trauma and not think of it as much at all. It is subjective trauma. But to the prospective multiple, it is overwhelming to the point that they employ ther innate abilities of intelligence, creativity and the ablity to dissociate so intensely, that the mind is able to split. Thus a multiple is born.”

I believe that Exposure Anxiety is a DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER. I have worked as an autism consultant with autistic children since 1996 and found around 30-50% of these children exhibit what fits Exposure Anxiety and responded to the Indirectly Confrontational approach which addresses it. I also have a consultation page for DID where I offer online Peer Support.

So I asked “How many of you have autistic children who become the dog, the cat, a rabbit…” stating that I’d worked with a number of children diagnosed with autism who did. Others had become TV characters, trains, cars. I wanted to hear other people’s experiences. Here’s some of the responses:

Ro Wells:
Mine was all the animals but now claims the cat and dog as brother and sister.

Nikhaylah L Peacock:
We’ve got a Harry (complete with bucket of Dinosaurs), who morphs into Iggle Piggle, and in between is convinced he’s a butterfly.

Spencer Griffin:
I “became” various “Sesame Street” characters as a kid – my idea of “playing pretend” back then involved me playing pretend with MYSELF (as opposed to with other children) – my parents were mystified for the longest time as to why I played …with dirt clods at kids birthday parties instead of socializing with the other kids – it was ‘cuz I was pretending to be Sesame Muppet Mumford the Magician, and I was kicking up “magic dust”!!! (that’s what the dirt clods looked like to me back then!!). There was another time where I was at a doctor’s office and I started saying “Hi my name is Mark and…” My mom thought I was nuts! She had to explain that I was re-enacting a “Reading Rainbow” episode and that my name wasn’t REALLY “Mark”!

Devlyn Rhys Young:
I can be anything that keeps me safe

Vicki Jones-Mordaunt:
When she was 2 years my daughter spent a few months as Derek, a little boy from Barney the Dinosaur, she was convinced and if anyone asked her name she would say Derek, got quite a few confused looks, she also had an imaginary dog called “puppy” who she brought to playschool with her, no lack of imagination there 🙂 My nephew was a dog for most of his school lunch breaks

Lisa Summers:
I’m Coco the dog I had to get rid of because my daughter violently attacked him, it really does upset me, as getting rid of him was hard enough but now I’m constantly being reminded of him!

Marita Beard:
Oh I have such vivid memories of my almost 6yo crawling through Safeway on her hands and knees because she was a cat, for about 12 months she did that. She would rub her cheeks against things to see how they felt. I didn’t take her often as the grocery store was a meltdown trigger but if being a cat helped her get through then she could be a cat.

Peta Nitschke:
My 12 y.o. daughter allocates animal status to all people including those she watches on tv or hears singing….she is a camel so i am corrected if i say “wash your hands..”, i have to say “wash your hooves”….this has been going on for a looong time so not sure if/when it will end. Before my daughter became a camel we had the usual characters from her videos that she would assume and we would be the minor characters from the show….but the camel thing seems to be permanent now….she is very specific in that she is a dromedary camel with only one hump.

Vince Ragetti:
I often became a “Harris” type Melbourne train as a teenager, and I still use a lot a railway imagery in metaphors.

Carla Campbell Hay:
My son at the moment is shrek his younger brother is donkey and I am boots!! His cousin is princess fiona, embarrassing sometimes and we do get raised eyebrows!!

Lisa Marie Beddell:
I could memorise every word from the disney movies I used to pretend I was characters from the lion king saying the same words from the movie and acting the parts over and over again

Michelle Baillon:
When my son was younger, he used to become a T Rex and used to walk around and move his head just like one!! Needless to say people would stare….. Bless him!! Love him to bits. Most of his speech is echolalia..lots of phrases from movies etc. and we too get lots of funny looks etc. but as long as he is happy, I have learnt not to let other peoples responses get to me!

Yen Kie Ong:
My son became Vincent van Gogh for more than 3 months. We still have hundreds of his Starry Night sketches and paintings. He gobbled up all information about van Gogh, the song Vincent by Don McLean. He insisted on walking to school via the McLean Street, and he talked about how he “shot his chest and died”. And now he wants to be Squidword from Spongebob.

Rukmiati Stylianopoulos
Similar to Carla; my son assigns characters and names to each member of the family with him being the star character of course. If he gets sick of hearing his name (because he’s being corrected or told off) he’ll say, “No Dahvid, just Spot” (the puppy on the ABC kids show) so I’ll have to call him Spot if I want him to do anything. When we’re out and about he’ll wave to a favourite character eg, “Hi Shrek!”. People are forever wondering if he’s talking to them lol. He went through a patch when he was about 7 (he’s 15 now) where he decided he wanted to be a baby again and would put on a nappy and suck on a dummy or bottle. He also goes through patches where he gets scared and will say that he’s scared of ghosts or monsters.

Dawn Marie Comer
My son spent the longest time being princesses. Used to totally baffle me when he’d become Cinderella when he was 2, and he was terribly distraught when I took him away from playing dress-up at a friend’s house when he was maybe 3 and he was in tears, distraught that, “But I can’t be a princess without my princess clothes!” He’s six now, and continues to have a close identification with princesses and other female characters, including Alice in Wonderland (which has always been my personal favorite).

During his Mary Poppins phase when he was about 4, he morphed into Poppins when we attended a crowded library event. They had a green punch of some sort as it was a St. Patrick’s Day event, and I so vividly remember him holding his punch and repeating, “I’m being Mary Poppins today and I’m drinking my lime cordial” 🙂

We also become characters for him. I was Angelina Ballerina for awhile and my husband often becomes characters as a means of motivation. He more readily does things for the characters we become than he does for us. And while on a certain level I’m sure he KNOWS it’s all pretend, he dearly loves these other persons we become and acknowledges them by their given names. Evenings when his dad becomes The Grabber and Vincent (after Van Gogh, yes) are the best for him.

Fiona Brammall
My daughter, Laura (AS diagnosis), used to go to preschool and insist on being called whichever Thomas engine was the flavour of the day/week/month. For quite a time she was Lady, the maroon engine – very elegant, but she was Edward for a fair while too, which people found even more off putting! She often seems to reflect her favorite friend at the time, copying mannerisms and stuff, often changing from day to day – don’t know if all kids do that or not.

Meanwhile James (Autism diagnosis) has been pretending to be Princess Peach from Super Mario Bros quite a lot lately. He also pretends he’s in Mario World as a character called James, like he has inserted himself into the game. not sure if he’s really being himself though… Some might say that he was being imaginative and role playing and therefore it’s a non-autistic behavior but I guess one of the key differences is that he is COMPLETELY immersed in the other world, unaware of what’s going on around him. I’ve seen him do it in the school playground after deciding he was too nervous to join a skipping game with friends and it was heartbreaking to see him run off, even though he seemed happy enough, because I saw the look on his face when I asked if he WANTED to play with his friends. He did, but he had no idea how.

I can remember, as a kid, particularly a teenager, watching movies and then afterwards feeling like I had become a character from the movie. Hard to describe and I don’t know if it was noticeable from the outside or if it was only something I FELT. I’ve never been diagnosed as having an ASD but I do feel like I kind of identify myself as an Aspie.

Cindy Harville Groce
My daughter pretends to be a dog, cat and different television characters with some episodes being played completely out. Other times, she changes characters so fast, it’s like listening to someone channel surfing. She also gives herself different names at times,along with a different voice, different mannerisms & body language.

Liz Morris
I live with two teenage trains every now and again.

Isabelle Monod
I was being an animal essentially to have contact with others . I was a cat for my little brother, talking cat acting cat just with him. I was ” crin blanc” the wild horse, acting like one for my friend at school, who would address me as the horse, I was a dog most of the time, talking dog with other dogs ! But all of the above was done in conscience , I now understand from reading your book Exposure Anxiety; The Invisible Cage why i was doing it! When i was being the dog, the cat, the horse, i wasn’t shy about revealing myself & was having real relationship to people.

Jessie Brown
I once had an Alien, Beedly BEE. You know who you ARE.

Brenda Jingle
My 20 year old is a different character on a regular basis :o) never a dull moment in our house!! :o)

Vicki Anderson Umbehagen
At the age of 3: Steve from Blue’s Clues ( and was “too smart to have that”). Now that I think about this though .. I have a friend whose child was born with a hearing impairment and she “was” a dog.

Carol Holst
Mine became Godzilla when he was 4-5-ish. Fortunately our house still stands.

Stephanie Roach
Abby at the moment is a Jaguar. She growls at us and roars all the time. She will rub her cheeks on our side wanting to be petted. She has also been a dog and a rabbit.

Rebecca Lili Roper
I still like to be dogs n cats, monkeys n hamsters

Amy Rayfield
my son has transformed in to the dog, cat, frog, bear (which scares all the other kids that don’t understand him!) and of course Thomas the Train. In fact when someone new asked him about himself, he starts talking about Thomas. It seems to be where he goes when he needs to clam himself.

Carolyn Reed
My son transformed once from Captain Hook to Peter Pan and then into Batman within just a few minutes. I’ll see what our daughter Darcy says about her transformations. What a good question.

Debra Potroz
I have one who becomes a cat and has done so since a baby. He puts on my fur coat and usually does this when he is seeking comfort.

Kimberly Gerry-Tucker
my son…yes. A cat right through Kindergarten. He growled if kids got close; didn’t speak, just meowed.

Jennifer Edelman
Mine was a dinosaur

Sue Sheehy
When my son was younger he thought he was a penguin, he regularly searched his chest looking for his black skin.

CarolAnn Edscorn
I have characters I create as a conscious (more or less) wall. NT persons seem to have an auto-pilot-wall, where they can figure out swiftly what is threatening/not. Younger self ‘hid’ behind guitar in public venues. Theater was helpful but… getting ‘stuck’ in a character was not, especially since I did not realize I was ‘acting.’ I think that is part of why friends disappeared-they figured out I was not me. I launch into film or cartoon characters when I am at a loss on how to proceed in a conversation thread. People think I have a great sense of humor. I wonder.

Paul Isaacs
When I was a little lad I could be many things and escape into a world of pure fantasy which was a result of echolalia and echopraxia I enjoyed it, I liked “playing part” & sometimes still do but not as much when I was young I could be Captain Hook, Peter Pan, A Power Ranger, Jafar (Disney) and many others along with their actions and words. Many Autistic people put on “different hats” in different situations for example in my home I can be at one with my childlike self and be comfortable in that “zone” its also the… same at the Autism Group I go to I’m slowly becoming more confident in that “zone”. I can also be very serious when talking about strong topics of interest (i.e. Autism) so I would be in a different “zone”. The Zones can be state of mind a certain place/situation or both.

Diana Curran
One of mine takes on characters from videos, and most of them not too savoury!! Having BIG problems at the mo. Just stopping him watching them doesn’t work as that is his time out activity and also he memorises them verbatum anyway.

Harriet Levine
My daughter has always enjoyed taking on roles of TV characters, repeating scenes and learning their characteristics and behaviors in a way that is impossible in real time.

We’ve ascertained that among those who do this some will do it SITUATIONALLY such as only in certain environments or with certain people (akin to what is called ‘fragments’) and that for others these ‘take over’ where these become more like ‘alters’ and they can come to be the main interface used with the world (what’s called ‘the host) for months, years, even into adulthood.

Some autistic children regress into a young version of themselves (go from being 10-20 to behaving as if they are 1-3 years old). Others do the opposite. They will escape their inabilities by taking on the identity of a teacher, carer, or older capable TV character to be able to do things that as their Core Self they find they can’t.

There’s a difference between regressing into an early age/phase and switching into that role or identity. In the former, its more a trauma response. Sometimes there are also those who will be put out by a younger sibling and so identify and replicate being the younger sibling, as is common in those with Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) which kids with developmental disabilities are more prone to than others.

Some autistic kids go into trauma-related regression around age 8-10 when they realise they are ‘different’ or face persistent bullying or exclusion. But when an older child switches into a toddler identity and then switches back within hours or days, this is more like having an alter ego.

Of course there’s the question which is actually the Core Self and which is the alter ego? Sometimes, it is the Core Self which is in the toddler stage and the older child with autism has in fact developed roles or identities which allow them to APPEAR to be developmentally at their physical age. Then they REVERT rather than regress back to their actual developmental age.

I asked people for their own family’s experiences:

Persephone Rose
yes & yes my daughter does both at times- regresses & takes on the identity of a teacher. Whats interesting is that this year she did not take on the identity of her teacher at her former school, she was mean in my daughter’s eyes. But when we took her to her new school for transition she instantly liked her new teacher and after 3 days- she was doing the whole teacher thing for days again. She did it the year before too when she had a nice teacher. But never did it for 3 terms of the year with this horrid teacher she had.

Tracy Hall
my daughter is 11 and often regresses using a baby voice and having meltdowns like a three year old, it is hard work trying to get her to behave her age most of the time
about an hour ago ·

Gabrielle Hogg
that is exactly true. when i started primary school when i was younger i took on the identify of my mother to cope in school, so all my classmates saw me as extremely bossy!

Sarah Justice
My 9 year old often regresses to something like my 3 year old. Sometimes i think I have two toddlers in my house. lol

Elizabeth Morse
AMAZING! I am having him go through this right now. ND says he is in the process of early puberty. He mimics the voices and conversations from school. I hear expressions that I know are not from home. He is also doing baby talk at times and old behavior is coming back.

China Pink
Yep, I have used several identities and roles over the years to cover my core self, sometimes its the only way to interact in a certain situation without going into full shut down. I know the core self exists because I’ve spent my whole life covering it up and doing everything in my power to protect it. I have several types of identity copied from people who are in a position that is suitable for my current situation. My husband spots these and can tell which is which.

Rebecca Lili Roper
Can this happen with adults with aspergers too? I am 42 but emotionally I feel like a child and enjoiy child things too. I was told I am 20 years behind myself.

Donna Williams
Hi Rebecca, good point, many folks with AS are socially-emotionally ‘delayed’… ie they can’t relate to the social-emotional worlds of those their age so either invest in a world of intellect, knowledge etc, or if they are at play, yes, their actual social-emotional developmental age may then show they are closer to what is typical in a child of 12, 8, 5, even 3… some of this will depend on things like Social Emotional Agnosia (inability to read facial expression, body language, intonation) but can also depend on whether they did their development as their Core Self or role played ‘acceptable behaviour’ but didn’t identify with it. All of us have access to our original child self, its part of memory, but some of us may have encapsulated that, preserved it, not as memory, but a sort of closeted self. Then when the heat is off and we’re alone, we’re back there… this is the case with Polly, one of my alters.

Reswobian Dreaming
I did the latter. I had highly-educated parents that spoke to me of matters you wouldn’t expect a young child to understand. My Aspie Father was teaching me about the Coriolis Effect, the concept of anticlockwise and clockwise in a kitchen sink when I was 3 months old. To survive in this environment, I had to mature quickly, so I was always a “little professor.” I’ve noticed that I’ll regress to a more childish kind of behavior when I’m playing but I rarely feel safe enough with people for that to come out. I’ve always known what and who I am, since I was at least five years old. I am essentially the same person, just with more layers of complexity on top. I think I was born with an old head on young shoulders. I have been told by many that I am ahead of my time. I’m 24, but I’ll usually feel about 30 or older on a good day. If I’m gripped by a depression I tend to feel middle aged.

Melody Rain
i am an adult but i feel completely scattered. sometimes to me it feels like i have multiple personalities but i know i dont have that. at sometimes and moments i behave like a very small child…this could be when my anxiety becomes so high… and i meltdown and just can not handle anymore…other times when i feel safe i may behave around an 10 to 12 year old. these are times in which i feel i can be myself and i dont have to pretend to act normal or be anyone else. i think i originally stopped developing emotionally and left off around that age span. other times i think i behave late teens to early 20s and i take on the teacher like persona , nurturer of young children and there are times when i spout out such wisdom that i must be in my 50s and sound as if i have lived a very long time. i do not know if anyone else relates to me.

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.
http://www.donnawilliams.net