I am an artist but I’ve also worked as an autism consultant since 1996. Because autism is a ‘fruit salad’ underpinned by a vast range of combinations of different, sometimes compounding conditions, that job involves researching a vast range of issues and conditions that impact on or compound the person’s autism. I have an encyclopedic mind, learn languages easily and like anything that involves lists or systems. So I enjoyed year 12 biology and regretted I’d lacked earlier secondary education and my language and visual processing challenges because my sense of practicality, fierce logic and enjoyment of the objective would have loaned itself well to medicine.

Nevertheless, I took fairly well to naturopathy and later to para-medical and medical research in areas such as psychology, psychiatry, immunology and neurology in particular. Perhaps this was influenced by growing up with Primary Immune Deficiencies, food allergies and the psychiatric and physical impacts of these. Most particularly as part of wanting to feel empowered as something other than the patient, to essentially take charge and have some capacity to understand my doctors. This came in handy later in tackling diagnoses of cancer, spinal stenosis, dysautonomia, central sleep apnea.

I hated seeing the GP or pharmacist AGAIN. They’re nice people but I felt embarrassed. I wanted to graduate, not need their services, probably most of all, I didn’t want to baby sit conditions. It’s boring, tedious, distracting. It challenges identity and I actively keep my focus on my personhood over condition no matter what… NO MATTER WHAT.

Life is SHORT, seriously so. It takes most of us 30 years just to understand ourselves, our lives, our past and have the self determination to actively shape our own futures. For some of us a full life may be 70 or 80 years old. For others 50-60 is our version of old age because we were made differently. For some of us it may be shorter. So wasting time fixating on things that aren’t threats, just anomalies, its a loss, to yourself, as well as causing longer waiting periods to those needing the services for serious reasons. Just sit in a hospital waiting room and notice the other people and their needs. It’s great to be proactive, to head off things that might later become serious, but one usually doesn’t need to go to a hospital or even a specialist for that. The GP can assess most quirks and decide what is or isn’t serious or what needs checking in a few months.

Fact is we all have lumps, bumps, quirks, aches, asymmetries, anomalies. What’s normal for one body is not for another. We have our own versions of normal. The important thing is are our differences or are they warning signs of serious conditions that could become life threatening (ie cancer, encephalitis, immune deficiencies, nutrient deficiencies, major organ damage etc). If the doctor rules these out as non serious then 95% of the time that’s the real deal. Hypochondria or any range of factitious disorders are mental health disorders. If you have a mental health problem driving you to fixate on every quirk or anomaly then you need help for THAT. One of the best medicines for mental health disorders is occupation, involvement, inclusion in real life experiences. If you don’t have that skill, a social worker can often help you build those.

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.
http://www.donnawilliams.net

I acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Owners of this country throughout Australia, and their connection to land and community.