In the first pages of Nobody Nowhere I wrote about an aunty ‘Linda’. This week, this aunty died. I visited her twice in palliative care and got to thank her. She had known me from birth. When I was 6 weeks old I was taken to her with all my belongings and she was told ‘take her’. She had told me at least half a dozen times that she wanted to adopt me but ultimately couldn’t because she and her husband feared they’d become attached and I’d be taken back when I was older. Along with my father and grandmother, she was pivotal in my survival as a baby that was being left to die, sneaking into my room to feed, change and hold me.

She witnessed my home life from 0-15 years old. She was there for me at 18 when I dared to confront the abuse I’d grown up with, then was there supporting the publication of Nobody Nowhere in my mid 20s – a book which touched the lives of millions around the world. In 1990 she gave a three page statement to the lawyer, supporting my accounts of my family and my development, without which the uncensored publication of Nobody Nowhere would not have been possible – not even her family knew she’d done this. Most of all, she was an essential part of me knowing what trust even was, with which I became a person capable of trust and attachment, the foundations of the great marriage, friendships, empathy and relateability I share today.

My aunty ‘Linda’ will always be the reminder of the mother I might have had, or perhaps I did have. I had the template of what having her as a mother might have been. I was unable to go to the funeral, but in my heart I commemorated her just the same.

Like a petal, gentle, she held me
Like a blanket, warm was her kindness
Like a mirror, she witnessed my humanity
Like a gatekeeper, she kept my missing pieces

She had ghosts and she faced them
She had values, and she lived them
She had aspirations, and achieved them
She had soul, and it inspired others

Like a touchstone, she kept the invitation open
Like a friend, she shared her self
Like a mother, she laid the foundations of trust
Like ‘Linda’, there is no-one else

Like the light she was
In all that she enriched,
she will shine on

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.
http://www.donnawilliams.net

I acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Owners of this country throughout Australia, and their connection to land and community.