A friend once told me “people believe what they want to believe”. I have generally found this true. Most people have ‘confirmation bias‘… they tune out what doesn’t fit their expectation, agenda or interests so the see what they want to see, believe what they want to believe. And the leaders, icons and idols we vote into place and do their PR for in terms of kudos and invaluable word of mouth may well ‘play to the gallery’, feeding their followers with exactly what they’d like to hear. But is this really a reflection of their actual character? What motivated each to rise or allow themselves to be voted up to their pedestals? How might each behave once they had ‘reached the top’ or in a state of chronic stress? And what does our choice of leaders say about us? It’s all there in the ‘fine print’.

The Following is a list of personality traits, their associated motivation and distress patterns and their related personality disorder extremes (from http://www.ptypes.com/type_passions.html :

PERSONALITY TRAIT: Self-Confident
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: being special
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: being ordinary
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Narcissistic

PERSONALITY TRAIT: Inventive
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: recognition
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: obscurity
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Compensatory Narcissistic

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Conscientious
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: achievement
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: lack of achievement
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Obsessive-Compulsive

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Serious
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: hard work
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: ease
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Depressive

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Aggressive
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: power
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: lack of power
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Sadistic

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Vigilant
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: autonomy
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: being subordinated
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Paranoid

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Adventurous
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: challenge
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: lack of challenge
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Antisocial

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Self-Sacrificing
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: being needed
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: being unappreciated
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Masochistic

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Idiosyncratic
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: non-conformity
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: conformity
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Schizotypal

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Dramatic
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: attention
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: being ignored
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Histrionic

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Exuberant
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: pleasure/creating
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: pain/stagnation
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Cyclothymic

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Leisurely
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: Freedom to do as one pleases
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: Compulsory activity
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Passive-Aggressive

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Mercurial
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: relationships
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: being alone
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Borderline

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Solitary
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: Solitude
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: Intimacy
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Schizoid

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Devoted
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: Being looked after
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: Independent action
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Dependent

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Sensitive
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: Acceptance/Routine
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: Rejection/Change
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Avoidant

Think about your leaders, your icons, your idols. Look at their postures, their movements, the words they use most frequently. Political leaders may be scripted or even trained in postures that are intended to convey someone quite different to who they actually are. But an interview still usually gives away who you are actually following. Here’s a look at some of the traits you may find in people who become leaders, icons and idols, what actually drives them or motivates them to stay in those positions.

Do they constantly emphasise terms like SPECIAL, EXCEPTIONAL, GENIUS, ABILITY, IMPRESSIVE, PRIDE, ACHIEVEMENT, ADMIRATION, GAIN and identify themselves with those at the highest levels of achievement, seeing people’s worth in terms of their potential to similarly achieve or impress? Then they may be speaking from this position:

PERSONALITY TRAIT: Self-Confident
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: being special
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: being ordinary
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Narcissistic

Do they constantly emphasise terms like RECOGNITION, BRILLIANCE, SUCCESS, ADMIRATION, HONORS, RESPECT, PRAISE, ESTEEM, OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT, PRESTIGE, PERFECTION, GENIUS, AWARDS and personally align themselves only with those with the highest status? Then they may be speaking from this position:

PERSONALITY TRAIT: Inventive
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: recognition
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: obscurity
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Compensatory Narcissistic

Do they constantly emphasise terms like ACHIEVEMENT, SKILLS, STRIVING, AIMING, DETERMINATION, GOALS, CERTAINTY, CORRECTNESS, ORDER, RULES, RESPECT, CONTROL? Do they relate best to other ‘achievers’ and socially then to gather information and connections that will help their build or maintain their own skills and achievements? Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Conscientious
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: achievement
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS: lack of achievement
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Obsessive-Compulsive

Do they constantly emphasise terms like DUTY, RESPONSIBILITY, RELIABILITY, DEPENDABILITY, POLITENESS, CONSIDERATION, EVALUATION, EVIDENCE, VERIFIABLE FACTS, GRAVITY, SERIOUSNESS, STOICISM, CAREFULNESS, MANNERS, A SOLID CHARACTER. Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Serious
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: hard work
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: ease
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Depressive

Do they constantly emphasise terms like AUTHORITY, POWER, ASSERTIVENESS, ACTION, TAKING CONTROL, THE NEED TO IMPOSE (INSERT NOUN), CONQUEST, WIN, COMPETE, COMMAND, DECLARE, FIGHT, OBEDIANCE, LEADERSHIP. Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Aggressive
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: power
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: lack of power
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Sadistic

Do they constantly emphasise terms like AUTONOMY, SELF DETERMINATION, LOYALTY, DECISIVE, DECISION MAKING, USING JUDGEMENT, FAIRNESS, RIGHTS, EQUALITY, LISTEN, NOTICE, OBSERVE, DEFEND, STAND UP, ACCOUNTABILITY, WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH (insert noun). Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Vigilant
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: autonomy
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: being subordinated
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Paranoid

Do they constantly emphasise terms like CHALLENGE, ADVENTURE, TAKE A RISK, TAKE A GAMBLE, INDEPENDENCE, BE BOLD, DARE, EXPLORE. Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Adventurous
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: challenge
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: lack of challenge
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Antisocial

Do they constantly emphasise terms like HELP, ASSIST, OF SERVICE, USEFULNESS, HUMILITY, EMPATHY, CONSIDERATION, CARING, PATIENCE, SHOULDERING THE BURDEN, ENDURANCE, GENEROSITY, ETHICS, TRUST, SELFLESSNESS, TOLERANCE, UNDERSTANDING, FORGIVENESS, FOR THE GREATER GOOD, NEGOTIATION, RECONCILIATION, DIPLOMACY. Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Self-Sacrificing
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: being needed
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: being unappreciated
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Masochistic

Do they constantly emphasise terms like INDIVIDUALITY, SELFHOOD, IDENTITY, TO THE BEAT OF ONE’S OWN DRUM, INNOVATE, IMPROVISE, SCULPT, ADAPT, EXPLORE, EXPERIMENT, FLEXIBILITY, THINK FOR YOURSELF, FORGET WHAT OTHERS THINK, VALUE DIFFERENCE, OPEN TO ANYTHING, CHALLENGE CONVENTION, BREAK WITH TRADITION. Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Idiosyncratic
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: non-conformity
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: conformity
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Schizotypal

Do they use put high emphasis on their physical appearance, rely on charm, use shock tactics, dramatic and evocative terms, strive for popularity and refuse to be ignored? Then they may be speaking from this position:

DRIVING PERSONALITY TRAIT: Dramatic
ESSENTIAL ATTRACTION/MOTIVATION: attention
ESSENTIAL AVOIDANCE/DISTRESS:: being ignored
RELATED PERSONALITY DISORDER: Histrionic

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.
http://www.donnawilliams.net

I acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Owners of this country throughout Australia, and their connection to land and community.