I came across this term ‘porn conditioned boys’ in a recent article about girls progressively being sick to death of the programmed, dick-driven, brain washed porn robots that some parents have allowed, sometimes even encouraged their boys to become.  Are these porn conditioned boys then even children any more at all?  And if they have lost all sense of altruism, of empathy, of consideration, of respect, of compassion, of the capacity for emotional love, are they then more psychopath than they are ‘human’?  After all, we define ‘human’ by these things, things that narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths do not have, or have lost.  Sex is sex, addiction is addiction.  As one develops sexuality sex without addiction is healthy.  Humans are multi-faceted creatures with a range of healthy natural drives.

Sex is one of those drives, so is physical attraction, so is the attraction of personalities, so is emotional love.  Without addiction one has freedom, freedom of thought, freedom of emotion, freedom to develop broadly as a healthy multi faceted human should.  But with children as young as 6 sitting down regularly to watch porn, children as young as 10 playing out what they’ve viewed in porn and badgering other children into sexting, children in their teens thinking date rape is a normal pursuit with their pals, young adults who can’t develop healthy relationships because these never compare with porn, we have, as a society, seriously derailed.  Training the brain of any child to be primarily dick-driven in all down time, all private time, as social currency in their friendships, as their primary drive to connect ‘romantically’ will no doubt ultimately limit their capacity to think heart-first, or ethics, or any of the altruism and equality involved in healthy friendships and relationships.

Sure, like any narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths a sex addicted porn conditioned boy may become a man who can display emotions, values, connection, but narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths merely ‘go through the motions’ too.  Underneath the facade of normality, underneath the veneer, however, is a me-me machine.

And it is not gadgets or social media or even the availability of porn that creates porn conditioned boys.  It is the parents who left them to be endlessly babysat by a gadget, revved up by and addicted to a series of online games they finally got bored with only to replace it with porn.  It is the parent or parents who are neither present nor engaged.  It is the parent who models dick-driven down-time as rewarding, as ‘part of growing up to be a man’, as ‘normal’.  It is the other parent who allows the whole process to reach addiction, to lose their child to porn conditioning until that child is in fact no longer a child at all, just the facade of a child.

Without intervention, porn conditioned ‘boys’ don’t grow up to be men.  For adulthood is about maturity, boundaries, self management, valued, healthy connections with others.  There is nothing about being a dick-driven, brain washed porn addict that will ever healthily achieve such things.  The child porn addict merely grows into the adult porn addict.  Their dick may have grown along with their body, but their psyche, their soul, may have atrophied and shriveled.

Polly Samuel (aka 'Donna Williams')
Author, artist, consultant and presenter.
http://www.donnawilliams.net

I acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Owners of this country throughout Australia, and their connection to land and community.