Polly's pages (aka 'Donna Williams')

Ever the arty Autie

Systems dreams – welcome to my pre-linguistic mind.

April19

Insight by autistic artist, Donna Williams Imagine if you could erase all dialogue, all faces from your dreams yet still have deep, meaningful dreams, even more so.

Imagine a world that is purely spatial, logical, a 3D world in which you exist as a bodyless entity, as if you have entered the pure cognitive workings of your own brain.

Imagine you are surrounded by colors, forms, spatial placements that are more central or peripheral, more in your experiential foreground or background and there are strange conjoining mists, lines and markers on those lines which you sense are telling you about conceptual connections, shared features and differences, how distinct or vague and undeveloped the relationships between these symbolically represented pure concepts are.

Imagine a world where music is represented only spatially in a vacuum of silence and that whilst it’s a visual world its one not seen but felt. Imagine a world so logical and mathematical that it speaks more of the crux of things in one dream than words and characters could capture in a hundred.

Welcome to ‘systems dreams’. These are part of my dream repertoire and are represented by artworks on my site which I have put in a category called Neoteric (they’re also in a current Art Exhibition).

Who knows where these strangest of dreams come from –

A compartmentalised and fragmented mind?

Rapid Cycling Bipolar?

Kinesthesia?

All of the above as part of autism, or is it part of ARTism?

Sure, I have other dreams, almost always without dialogue. My dialogues are almost always emotional, felt dialogues that are known interactively but not spoken – sort of telepathic if you like – but don’t come running to me for a tarot reading, I’m talking about dreams and how I dream.

I have dreams where I have other bodies, not my one. I’ve been other genders, ages and other animals. I’ve been part of the elements, been part of the wind, the ocean. I’ve had prophetic dreams (no, put that tarot away, it ain’t my thing). I had lucid dreaming in which I feel temperature, smell my surroundings and can alter the dream yet not wake up, turn it on an axis, zoom in, erase characters, alter events, even order myself to wake up.

But systems dreams are probably the most awesome. They are also the most useful.

When I encounter conversations, events or articles I can’t consciously understand, monitor or retain at the time I encountered these things, the systems dreams seem to take the presented concepts and represent them symbolically in very basic representational colors, forms, textures, placement, size and then draw the various connecting lines and shared or contrasting or opposing features running between various concepts. In the days and weeks after the systems dreams, new systematised ways of thinking in relation to concepts I’ve never understood or consciously learned about, unravel and I’m along for the ride. It’s like a virtual classroom where nobody speaks but the awarenesses on a most basic and essential conceptual level are passed on.

If only real schools worked like this, bypassing linguistics and going directly to the pre-linguistic systems those linguistics later are used to represent.

And better still, I don’t even need illicit drugs for this (who knows, perhaps such things would reduce these functions anyway).

🙂 Donna Williams *)

http://www.donnawilliams.net

posted under Autism, Donna Williams