I saw my cancer on the ultrasound during the biopsies. It’s not nice and round and tidy with smooth unthreatening self contained edges living in an easy to cut out non life threatening space. Mine lives at 12 o’clock in breast positioning, my left breast and 12 o’clock, so pretty much its where my heart is and deep in boonies of breast-ville.

It’s like some stoned graffiti artist’s black poorly sprayed tag of a thick sideways ‘H’ . If you haven’t worked this out, a sideways ‘H’ is a chunky looking letter ‘I’ or like an anvil. And I feel it’s taking the piss here, as if it’s named itself, declared itself some kind of selfhood over and above that of me and my DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) system of alters, as if its saying, ha ha, so you guys all forgot to fully claim the title of ‘I’, but I don’t. And it’s got jagged, fuzzy edges that spread out into thread like starbursts.

It took up residence not up in the ducts just inside the nipple, nor does it look like its in the lobes behind the ducts. No, mine appears to be sitting on or in the pectoral muscle behind the breast tissue, sitting there with its vein system enjoying its blood supply and hopefully not bathing in my lymph nodes under my breast tissue though its hard to imagine how its missed them if its a 2.2cm lump sitting on or in the muscle (UPDATE: it turned out to be a 3cm). That muscle is what’s called ‘connective tissues’ and is referred to as the ‘chest wall’. Its not where you want a cancer. But that muscle has another 1cm or so thickness for this cancer to get through before its in my breast bone if its nasty little threads haven’t tried that yet.

So I’m getting peeved at this smart little cancer. And I’m creatively studying war tactics. I’m not putting my faith in anything not backed up by Pubmed studies but I can say I’ve learned a few rather useful things. (tip: want to see if something has been medically studied re cancer do a Google search ie: ‘echinacea cancer +site:gov’)

There are two reasons my cancer is thriving. One is that my body failed at apoptosis… cell death… that it failed to signal damaged cells for clean up and elimination… it left the trash sitting there and it festered away becoming cancerous. But it couldn’t grow well without a blood supply. It found one by a process of mutation called angiogenesis… rogue production of vein systems where they shouldn’t be.

So there are two things that would cut off the ability of new cancer cells to make matters worse, two things that could fight back those threads, push back those jagged margins, push cancer back into the lump at its centre. Those two things are the increase of apoptosis – cell death, and the decrease of angiogenesis – the rogue production of new vein systems (Angiogenesis inhibitors). Then I could starve this thing of new cells and nutrient supply. But how to do that without killing the 99% of me that is still well?

Well I researched what increases apoptosis and reduces angiogenesis. These things have not been found to cure cancer. They have, in some studies, sometimes only mice studies, been found to reduce and slow tumor growth.

Among them were Vitamin D, Echinacea, Astragalus, Propolis ,Olive Leaf Extract, Oregano Oil Extract and Dandelion Coffee. These won’t cure my cancer, but until I hear otherwise from my specialist, they may at least give me some peace of mind whilst the medical team does their thing.

Catechins, too, have indications they may increase apoptosis. Green tea and raw cocoa contain up to 50% catechins. Loving Earth make wonderful sugar free raw cocoa products and I’m enjoying Genmai tea. It ain’t all bad 🙂

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist, singer-songwriter, screenwriter.
Autism consultant and public speaker.
http://www.donnawilliams.net

I acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Owners of this country throughout Australia, and their connection to land and community.