I love this… and with autism its similar… we are diverse, we are people with personhood and autism is part of that but whilst some feel it DEFINES them in their entirety, others do not, not because they are in denial or ashamed of their autism, but because their autism is not the sole source of everything they think, feel, do or achieve.

Take today, this particular hour, this moment… what makes me me, right now?

I am here in my duffle coat… homelessness formed my attachment to duffle coats, not my autism. I am dressed in my gypsy style clothes… autism didn’t develop my style, being breast free as a breast cancer survivor developed that. I am here with my hubby in the office… autism didn’t make this my thing… love did. I had tuna patty sandwich for breakfast and it was great… not because of an autism related food fetish, but because a foster mother in my teens made me feel so very privileged when she made me similar for school when I was 13. Parts of my day, my life, my relationships, my sense of self are shaped by my autism… but lots of me is shaped by as many wonderful and challenging influences of all kinds.

Sure, I’m wearing tinted lenses that glue my visual perception together so I can visually process a face, body, objects, a room, a place as a whole instead of bit by bit. But I put those on each morning like putting on my underpants and then forget about them. My tinted lenses are an adaptation to Simultagnosia as part of my autism fruit salad but if tomorrow I didn’t need them, I would feel just as much me. I go through my faceblind day (28 years before tinted lenses and seeing people bit by bit left me face blind) recognising people by their placement, their movements, their voice or particular features. But even though this is part of my autism fruit salad and part of my every day existance in interactions with people (even in watching a film) it isn’t something I define myself by. I lose 30% of what people say. So this is a big part of my daily life when interacting with others. It’s the remnants of a severe language processing disorder that left me 90% meaning deaf and echolalic until late childhood. But because I’m exuberant, friendly, expressive and interact fairly freely, it doesn’t define me.

I could choose to get into bed with all the fruit salad that made me autistic or the remaining remnants of that now I’m so many miles from where I was. But why? To belong to a club that is looking for my membership badges? To stand out as unique and special or deserving more help than others? To justify opting out? To advocate in an ignorant and hierarchical world where I can used my labels as a bashing stick to demand equality? To avoid confusion and cut to the chase so people can get past my fruit salad and see ME?

We may have disabilities, but if we CHOOSE to get into bed with our labels we need to take a clear and honest look at why. And when we do we need to ask ourselves, is our label lust helping or hindering the few decades that any one of us gets to live a ‘life’ on this earth.

Donna Williams, BA Hons, Dip Ed.
Author, artist,and presenter.
http://www.donnawilliams.net

I acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the Traditional Owners of this country throughout Australia, and their connection to land and community.