My breast cancer should have been “in situ”, meaning contained and non invasive. After all comedocarcinoma is usually not invasive. But seems there are cases where usually in-situ breast cancer does become invasive. And if its going to do that, Comedocarcinoma cells move fast. Read the rest of this entry »

Today was the day of the pathology results from last week’s biopsy for breast cancer. Seems I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Nos (IDC Nos). This is the most common form of breast cancer with 70-80% of those diagnosed with breast cancer having this IDC Nos. Read the rest of this entry »

Today a friend came over, we joked about cancer. It was side splitting, wonderful, hilarious and therapeutic. Read the rest of this entry »

I saw my cancer on the ultrasound during the biopsies. It’s not nice and round and tidy with smooth unthreatening self contained edges living in an easy to cut out non life threatening space. Mine lives at 12 o’clock in breast positioning, my left breast and 12 o’clock, so pretty much its where my heart is and deep in boonies of breast-ville. Read the rest of this entry »

Seems the C word sends everyone mad. Friends suddenly lose their equilibrium, they can run about like mad chickens, look ready to throw you a pity-party, find a mission in healing you, become a resource machine, tell you one size fits all happy ever after stories of some archetypal ‘Mary Smith’ who had cancer, tell you how ignorant your oncologist or surgeon is and how they have found one who is much better, or how your cancer could really be a banana or sweat gland or anything other than what your doctor says it is, or they disappear altogether unable to face you. In short, your friends may suddenly turn into ‘idiots’. Read the rest of this entry »

My biopsies for breast cancer were yesterday. Chris had taken the day off the day before but turned out that was only the consultation. So here I was going to the biopsies with my good pal, Denise, who, like me, has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Given her dozen alters and my 13, we brought quite a few people along to the waiting room of the Radiology Department at the hospital. And then there were the visual and verbal agnosias of my autism to navigate; the meaning deafness, meaning blindness and face blindness. All becomes rather Alice in Wonderland in that context. Read the rest of this entry »

OMG! You’ve got cancer! Cancer is a word, not a sentence. I always liked that saying by the anti-cancer council.

I’ve handled that word a few times in my 47 years. Read the rest of this entry »

I took my father to therapy last week. He’s been dead since 1995, around 16 years now, but I took him along anyway. I packed up his letters, objects from the different Jacks, and took them along. I laid them out on the floor and picked up each in turn, me and my alters addressing each father that shared that one body of his.
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Those who grow up meaning deaf (verbal agnosia) often have exceptionally good use of peripheral vision. Those with a form of meaning blindness called Simultagnosia in which one sees the part and loses the whole often employ peripheral vision as a means of filtering out the level of incoming information they’d otherwise get through rods in the front of the eyes as a means of reducing sensory flooding, allowing the brain more time to process what’s left in a similar way that some therapeutic tinted lenses do too. A recent study showed peripheral vision is also more highly developed among those who deaf from an early age. Read the rest of this entry »

Schizotypal personality disorder has an extremely high co-occurrence with both Autism and Dissociative Disorders. Schizotypal Personality Disorder is also deemed to be along the same spectrum as Schizophrenia at the extreme end and Schizoid Personality Disorder at the more mild end. So it may be that Schizophrenia is not as much the antithesis of Autism as we had imagined. Read the rest of this entry »