My breast cancer tumor was thought to be 2.2cm. Scans showed no cancer in the lymph nodes. The doc understood I lived with immune deficiencies, that my family had an extremely high cancer rate and that I was nervous of how taxing radiation or chemo would be. I knew I didn’t care about cleavage, that I’d invested my life in my personality, not my breasts. Read the rest of this entry »

My breast cancer should have been “in situ”, meaning contained and non invasive. After all comedocarcinoma is usually not invasive. But seems there are cases where usually in-situ breast cancer does become invasive. And if its going to do that, Comedocarcinoma cells move fast. Read the rest of this entry »

Today was the day of the pathology results from last week’s biopsy for breast cancer. Seems I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Nos (IDC Nos). This is the most common form of breast cancer with 70-80% of those diagnosed with breast cancer having this IDC Nos. Read the rest of this entry »

Today a friend came over, we joked about cancer. It was side splitting, wonderful, hilarious and therapeutic. Read the rest of this entry »

I saw my cancer on the ultrasound during the biopsies. It’s not nice and round and tidy with smooth unthreatening self contained edges living in an easy to cut out non life threatening space. Mine lives at 12 o’clock in breast positioning, my left breast and 12 o’clock, so pretty much its where my heart is and deep in boonies of breast-ville. Read the rest of this entry »

Someone on Facebook asked ‘why is it that good people get cancer?’. I answered that it isn’t good people who get cancer, or bad people, that its just PEOPLE who get cancer. I added that animals get cancer, cats, dogs, horses, birds, fish. They get cancer whether they got distance healing, whether people prayed for them, whether they loved their mothers, whether they clicked their heals 3 times and spun according to their OCD compulsions or not. Read the rest of this entry »

Seems the C word sends everyone mad. Friends suddenly lose their equilibrium, they can run about like mad chickens, look ready to throw you a pity-party, find a mission in healing you, become a resource machine, tell you one size fits all happy ever after stories of some archetypal ‘Mary Smith’ who had cancer, tell you how ignorant your oncologist or surgeon is and how they have found one who is much better, or how your cancer could really be a banana or sweat gland or anything other than what your doctor says it is, or they disappear altogether unable to face you. In short, your friends may suddenly turn into ‘idiots’. Read the rest of this entry »

My biopsies for breast cancer were yesterday. Chris had taken the day off the day before but turned out that was only the consultation. So here I was going to the biopsies with my good pal, Denise, who, like me, has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Given her dozen alters and my 13, we brought quite a few people along to the waiting room of the Radiology Department at the hospital. And then there were the visual and verbal agnosias of my autism to navigate; the meaning deafness, meaning blindness and face blindness. All becomes rather Alice in Wonderland in that context. Read the rest of this entry »

OMG! You’ve got cancer! Cancer is a word, not a sentence. I always liked that saying by the anti-cancer council.

I’ve handled that word a few times in my 47 years. Read the rest of this entry »

It was always very hard for me to talk about the ‘fruit salad’ of my parents. In the autism world there was MASSIVE taboo to speak of having anything other than wonderful, loving, well adjusted parents… otherwise one was ‘an abuse case’, everything about one’s developmental disabilities was then cast into some ‘pity box’, one couldn’t possibly have be a REAL ‘autistic’ because ‘real autistics’ were only and ever then born to ‘healthy’ parents. Read the rest of this entry »