A little 101 on metastatic breast cancer… Read the rest of this entry »

At age 13 I had an NDE, a Near Death Experience. I was a suicidal 13 year old, I ‘died’ alone in my attic room from alcohol poisoning inhaling metholated spirits because I was too terrified to sleep in there, because my soul was weary, because I felt there was no hope and didn’t have any reason to live… and as I felt pulled heavily into the mattress my spirit lifted out of my body into a warmth of pure light as all I was dispersed onto that light… so had this same experience, but my body called me back… it wasn’t my time. I never feared death since. Read the rest of this entry »

Less than a month ago I learned by breast cancer returned, that my liver had innumerable tumors and one in my spine. Most people imagine bucket lists, but I did a spring clean, celebrated the little things & ordered online what I needed for my new lifestyle of weekly chemo for the rest of my life (chemo for secondary breast cancer is to extend months, hopefully a year or even sometimes years). I focused on laughing, living, loving and normalising this new direction for me, my husband, our cats, our friends. Read the rest of this entry »

We are all dying… from the time we are born we are marking time upon this earth. From the age of 25 our cells are dying faster than they are repairing. Ageing is part of the dying process which escalates the older we get, some of us sooner, some of us later, depending on genetics, immunity, physical experiences along the way. We have scares now and then… a brain injury we endure from an abuser but live to overcome, our own reckless substance abuse or suicidal endangerment, an infection that lasts 7 months and almost kills us, the loss of respiratory drive that leaves a machine doing our breathing for us, breast cancer we give up our breasts for, endure chemo for, take Tomoxifen for for 4 years and 10 months… And sometimes those scares cross the line. They are no longer scares, for we learn our cancer has returned, we have widespread metastatic spread to the liver, the cancer is also in our spine, we are neutropenic and death looks most potentially just around the corner. Read the rest of this entry »

I was wheat/rye free in 1990, then returned to wheat on and off until 2001, then was dx’d as gluten intolerant Read the rest of this entry »

I went through breast cancer treatment in 2011 at the age of 47. As a person with autism the process was probably a bit different for me. Read the rest of this entry »

When I have posted information about the right to a dignified, self-determined death, I find healthy young people with Asperger’s comment from a fear of Nazi like euthanasia. Read the rest of this entry »

I was diagnosed with Mixed (mostly central) apnea in March 2012. I had complained about waking and finding I was not breathing in 2009. I explained that I wasn’t gasping for air (as happens in Obstructive Apnea), had merely woken to find I was laying there like a dead person, not breathing (usual in Central Apnea), commonly with my hands and feet numb or tingling (usual in sensory neuropathy). But because I was thin, young and didn’t snore, it was presumed I couldn’t have (obstructive) ‘apnea’ so therefore couldn’t have apnea at all. Read the rest of this entry »

Dying in a hospital, unless you have legal paperwork supporting your right to refuse treatment, you could be revived and revived and revived only to continue to spend your last weeks or days suffering.

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Finished chemo Dec 2011. Mar 2012 was diagnosed with Central Apnea – brain MRI fine – phew. Inflammatory tenosynovitis made my hands claw up and feet immensely painful to walk… Read the rest of this entry »